Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Current Addiction : Mayer Hawthorne

So I went to the 3rd day of Jakarta International Java Jazz Festival 2012 last week. And I'm so happy I get to see Mayer Hawthorne and The County!

Personally, to me they sound even better on live performances. :)

This song is currently stuck in my head:


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Abusive Relationship

Hi. :)
This is gonna be a rather personal blog entry. I don't know if it's right to write about it here on the Internet, but uhhmm I think I need to do this, just to get things out of my chest.

Question; Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

I have.

I wasn't physically abused, thank God. But you know what? Sometimes mental abuse is even worse.

To be called ugly or dumb improperly,
to be made embarrassed in public,
to be called disrespectful names,
to be constantly bullied or inappropriately made fun of,
until your level of confidence and self-worth are as minimum as they can be.

Those are mental abuse. And it's ten times worse when it's done by someone you love.

So I dated this guy who, intentionally, calls me "Bego" all the time. At first it was like a joke thing, like when I ask him about things I didn't know and he'll go "Kamu bego banget deh!" "Bego lo!" And it proceed to the point where he would call me "Bego" (and certain other words) at times when he was angry.

I was mentally abuse, but that's not even the worst part.

I now realized that the worst part of that was, I never told him that it hurts. I never say anything.

Back then I would just stay silent and ask myself,
"Am I too sensitive?"
"If I tell him how I feel will he think I'm a freak?"
and making excuses like
"Oh this happens to every couple, right?"
So I didn't say anything to him.

It started with a simple joke, and I let it grew.

Anyway, I just want everyone out there, who's experiencing any kind of abusive relationship,
to know that you are not alone.
And you deserve more.
And you should say what you feel,
and if after that your girl/boyfriend still maintain their abusive behaviour, leave.

You don't deserve to be called Bego/Tolol/Lemah/Gendut/Stupid/Faggot/Ugly/ or anything else that you don't wanna hear from the person you love. Do yourself a favor and leave.



*Bego is an Indonesian word for stupid.